Next week I’m putting my “Hyacinth Hat” back on. I’ve been gone for a while. I got all emo and shit and a little scared of my body and sex. I’ve been ruminating on what it is I want, what I’m doing and with whom. I needed to get my head back on straight; to breathe and reevaluate. Am I a slut? Do I care if I am? Is it a feminist affront or proclamation if I am? How do I want to conduct my [sex] life?
The break (and the ruminating) has done me some good. I feel much better now. More solid. Revitalized. Ready to fucking go.
My big re-shuffle started back in September when I basically freeze-framed my sex life. Two went the way of the dodo bird and the other two are still around (Jason and Phillip). I’ve since added The Neighbor and Kevin. All the aforementioned thinking, blahblahblah, and now here we are. BOOM.
I’ve also stumbled across a Dom on OKC. His profile was ridiculously open and intriguing and so I let him know I was interested. He emailed me back and then claimed my first available night next week (how Dom of him). It happens to be Friday.
So, if all goes well, I’ll fuck Phillip Monday and Tuesday (he’s back in town for a few days and our schedules finally match up); I’ll take Wednesday off because I have an 8 am client Thursday morning; Thursday night I’ve given to Kevin; Friday to The Dom; Saturday is Jason’s. Sunday I’ll rest. You might be thinking, What about The Neighbor? Well, the poor thing has mono, so it’s really up to him. Wednesday and Sunday are all his if he wants them, but he can barely function at this rate, let alone fuck me. And I might need some rest, too. I am only human after all. But, there is a possibility I’ll get fucked more than 5 days next week.
After this post earlier this week — and the support I received — I became re-energized about my upcoming week. The big difference between this week and old weeks wherein I slept with 4 men is that these men all know me. They are part of ongoing relationships that I’m nurturing. With the exception of The Dom, the others will not be first dates. They will be 3rd, 6th, and 12th dates, thereabouts, and everyone has had some kind of relationship with me for at least 3 months regardless of face-time. It’s a wonderful feeling. It’s what I’ve been hoping to cultivate for over a year now and it’s finally happening.
There are even a couple of other men I’m interested in that I haven’t brought into the fold yet. Patience is the governing principle at this point. My cunt can wait; my heart can wait; everything can wait. I have everything I want right now and I don’t want to miss it. I must sit and revel in this gift of a life I have created, lest it all be for naught. It is beautiful and I am supremely lucky. Supremely.
Wish me luck next week, my friends. I will come out of it with many, many stories. All of which I promise to document in gritty detail.
Gritty, sexy, slutty detail…