I’m sexier than Liechtenstein.

I’m sure a lot of you got this annual report thingy.  Apparently, I’m more interesting to some people than Liechtenstein. Go figure.

Here’s an excerpt:

About 55,000 tourists visit Liechtenstein every year. This blog was viewed about 230,000 times in 2012. If it were Liechtenstein, it would take about 4 years for that many people to see it. Your blog had more visits than a small country in Europe!

Click here to see the complete report.

But my point in posting this is for more than just tooting my own stupid horn.

First, I’ve been blogging for a little over a year now (my anniversary was 12/17) and I’m more passionate than ever about it.  I hope I can maintain this kind of traffic and interest a year from now and I want to mark where I am now.

Second, a year in review is always relevant at the start of a new year, so why not?  Besides, I have a shit ton of awards and kudos to catch up on that I’ve basically ignored for most of the year (yeah, I’m a dick blogger, remember?).

Third, I also have a blog-content idea I’d like to run by my readers and fellow bloggers.  Who would be interested in participating in a bi-weekly column about online dating?  Email me at hyacinth.jones@hotmail.com if you are and I’ll let you know what my idea is.

Lastly, I wanted to thank all my readers and friends for making this past year utterly wonderful despite the emotional turmoil I was determined to experience.  My Internet Boyfriend is incredible, insightful, sweet, honest, and real.  I’ve made some real, honest to goodness friends — a fact that I never imagined would come to pass — and I have grown as a woman and individual more than if I’d been left alone in my vacuum of self-destruction.  I couldn’t be a luckier gal if I tried.  I mean, fuck.  It’s just awesomeness all around.  Thank you thank you thank you.

So, without being too all over the place, I’m going to list the awards and who gave them to me, but I’m not going to follow all the specific rules.  If I have left you off this list, let me know immediately and I’ll fix it and please accept my apologies in advance.

And, because I have all my favorite of favorites already listed on my Dissolutes tab, I’m asking that you  leave me the names of one or two of your favorite bloggers that I don’t have on my list so I can add them to my More Groovy Bloggers List (see that below).  I’m not going to pass these awards on to 5 or 10 or however many other bloggers because it’s already insanely incestuous around here (and I love it!!), but I want to broaden my reading via this exercise and I want you all to benefit from it, too.  Hopefully it works!

It goes without saying to check out all these terrific writers who passed these [dropped] torches on to me, too.

(Goddamn, I’m such a dick.)

Alice, of Story of Alice, nominated me for a TMI Award a thousand months ago.  It’s for sharing too much.  Probably has something to do with that shat story I wrote about forever ago.

Alice is beautiful, sensual, viscerally cerebral and poetry in 1s and 0s.  Her heart is warm and large and her wiles [nearly] legendary.  Thank you, sweet Alice (I’ll be saying that again before this post is through).

H.H., of My Sex Life With Lola, gave me this BILF Award.  Because everyone wants to fuck a blogger, right? My sexiest post is required by this award, but I’ll give you two options.  First, my most popular, non-squirting-related posts have been by far I was once DVP’d and I was fucked by a stranger.  While blindfolded.  And I was watched.  But one of my personal favorites has always been I made love.  I’m sentimental, I guess.

H.H. is the magical male half of the dynamic, sexy duo of H.H. and Lo.  I imagine he wears tweed as much as I imagine she’s decked out in skimpy lace.  His writing is honest and searching and extremely readable.  I always think he’s keeping something from me.  Thanks for thinking of me with this award, honey.

LSAM, of Love, Sex and Marriage, passed on this Sunshine Blogger Award back before she started doing the work of 10 women and actually had time to blog!  It’s a blog awarded to those who make others feel warm and shiny.

LSAM’s writing can be at once provocative (click on her erotica) and also educational.  I always feel like I’ve known her forever when in reality I don’t know her at all.  Good thing that doesn’t matter here in Internetland.  I like her lots.  Thanks, LSAM for the blog love!

This Meta Awesomest Blog Unicorn Award was given to me by a number of peeps: Alice, whom you’ve met, the of late MIA Deviant of Deviant Diaries, sweet, poignant DW of Deviant Wench, and the intoxicatingly interesting Kayla of Sexual Being.  Thank you ladies for the nominations!  I told y’all I was a fucking dick, right??

This award is in response to the flurry of awards that were going around, I think.  It (as I’m sure the others do, too) requires some random trivia.  I’ll list 5:

1. I’m a Virgo, Leo rising.  Moon sign is also Leo.  Or Pisces depending on which calculator you use.
2. I like sauces on the side.
3. My ears are pierced 11 times, but I almost never wear jewelery.
4. I am an artist.
5. I am ridiculously shy.

 Liebster and Addictive Awards were given by the tough cookie, Confessions of Your Husband’s Mistress.

COYHM is both haunting and titillating.  She wanted it to be a cautionary tale, but ended up discovering herself instead.  Thank you for thinking of me :)

The Versatile Blogger Award – given by the indelible, sexy India of Work Spouse Story is pretty self-explanatory, I’d imagine.

India’s writing is a railroad track through a snowy landscape.  You can just make out where it’s going, but you’re not entirely certain of its destination, but you’re excited to see where you’ll end up nonetheless.  Thanks, girl, for passing this on!

The Very Inspiring Award was given by the ever-scrumptious and wonderfully honest Heather and Nikki of Vagina Antics.

Their story of how their friendship came to pass is much like that of their sexual journeys: they’re exactly where they need to be today, and their writings are both succinctly raw and wonderfully whimsical.  Many thanks!

Lastly, the newest of awards to make the circuit is the Fabulous Gutter Blogger Award created by India and her partner in crime, Dave over at Normal Deviations.  India, sweet and self-flagellating Dawn of Pivoine68, the sensually intellectual Fatal of You Linger Like a Haunting Refrain, and  the deeply raw True of Voirdireblog all thought of me when they had the chance of nominating a blogger.  Thank you all!  I’m humbled.

I apologize again for not following all the specific rules, but as you can see I was a Super Dick this time around and let it all pile up.

And for the grand finale, here are some new blogs I’ve discovered — that are not already on my Dissolutes tab == that I think deserve some attention.

More Groovy Blogs List:

• Kayla – A Sexual Being
• Dave – Normal Deviations
• Dumb Domme – Dumb Domme
• Dirty Girl – Coming Clean About Getting Dirty
• Scarlett – A True Unfolding
• Ethan – Still, You Turn Me On
• Madame Blush – The Chronicles of Madame Blush
• Suqui – Postglow
• Paisley – Adventures in iDating
• Miri (aka Kate) – Dirty Little Stories
• Lulu – Liasons With Lulu
• Joe- My Jaded Parts
• Maggie – The Honest Courtesan
• SLoaW (I don’t know her pseudonym!) – Sexual Life of a Wife

I hope you all get a chance to check out some of these bloggers who aren’t as familiar to us as some others (though, I suspect some of these are some of your favs already, too).

Fuck, this post took goddamned forever to write.  I’m sorry for being such a slacker.  In the future, I’ll be more on top of any niceness sent my way.  I’m not an asshole, I swear!

I’ll end this with yet another big, fat THANK YOU, IBF!  Because I really and truly mean it and without you all — as crazy as it sounds — my life would be very different.

Boobs, sex, pseudo-break-ups, real make-ups, giant cock, and a settled heart will be discussed in the coming days, I promise.

xx

Hy